Two Regrets

Awhile ago when I did my list of 100 things about me, I mentioned I had two regrets (actually it was three, but I have since thought about it and decided the third one was not really a regret).

Some people say they have no regrets because if they changed it, they would not have learned a lesson. In my case, I do not see either one of these as life-changing events but things where I wished I had the courage to do something different.

One if them is a no-brainer...I got married to a guy I was not in love with when I was 20. I just did not know any better. He wanted to get married and I thought this was the guy I was supposed to be with because he was the only guy I ever dated. But, he was already not treating me nice before the wedding. I think if I would have broke it off before the wedding, I would have learned the same lesson since it was doomed from the start,

The second one happened when I was a senior in high school. Even though I wanted to take art, my parents made me take band because I had been in it so many years. My brother was (still is) two years ahead of me and when he was a senior he played bass guitar for a quartet which included a drummer, a pianist and a flute player. They played a beautiful piece for solo and ensemble (an event where area schools are judged and if they do well, go on to state for more judging). Anyway, everyone raved about their performance. I played the flute and I wanted to play this piece when I became a senior. I practiced my part for two years almost every night. It got to the point where when I was upset or nervous, I would play this piece and it soothed me.

Now fast forward to my senior year. The girl I sit next to in band is also a pianist as well as a flute player. I ask her if she would like to play this piece for the solo and ensemble that spring where she would play piano, I would play the flute and we would get two other people to play the drums and the bass. She is surpised this piece is allowed and says she will get back to me on it.

Later, I find out she is playing the piece as a flute player, and her best friend is playing the piano part! I was so upset I actually decided to quit band all together. Instead of going to my director to see if he could help, I just gave up and quit. He later asked why I was dropping out and I said I had enough credits to graduate and left it at that. I have not played the piece since...it has been over 20 years. I still have my flute and the music sheet and every once in awhile I get the urge to play it again but I have not done it. Perhaps soon, when I am alone and the kids are in school.

I have always regretted not trying harder to play that particular piece and allowing someone else to ruin it for me (same goes for the first marriage).

Family Update: Everyone is fine....HOH and the ten year old are at the indoor football game after watching the Packers first outdoor training practice tonight. Tomorrow we may go see the tall ships (pirate like ships)...there are at least 15 ships!!!!

Have a good one and do not give in, people!