Another Top Ten

Now it is time for another top ten list. Today it has to do with Ushers.

Top Ten Signs You Have Ushers

10. You turn a light on and find out it is already on.

9. Whenever you go someplace, you are always the last person there.

8. You start to rely on you hearing more than your sight and you already wear two hearing aids.

7. You avoid dark places such as bars, restaurants, movie theaters, quaint shops, churches, anyplace in the yellow pages, homes of family and friends, your garage, your basement, your closet, you get the picture.

6. You are constantly wondering if someone is in the room with you.

5. You drop something on the floor and it takes several minutes to find it so eventually you give up and wait until someone says, "Why is the milk cap on the floor?"

4. You hope the dark lumpy object on the floor is a sock and not doggie doo-doo.

3. You have bruises on your legs from running into the open dishwasher door.

2. You need to wear a football helmet because of the number of times you hit your head. (Thank God I was born with a hard noggin).

1. You pick up the tv remote only to find out it is the dog's bone.