Do not read if...

Do not read this if you are one of those people who do not like to read about mothers and their problems. (EXIT NOW....run for your lives! Come back another day!)

I have been waiting all week for something good or funny to write but I am comsumed with the reality I am a failure as a mother.

My four year old is not doing well in school (not listening, disrespecting the teachers, etc). The thing is, when it is just the family, he is fine. Anyway, since I am legally blind and mostly deaf, I am not able to do much but the one thing I thought I was doing fairly well was being a mom. Now,I am not so sure and it is bringing me down, I am eating all the time and I cannot seem to snap out of it.

Today, after another poor review from the teacher, I came home and called his father to come home for lunch and talk to the son who had been sent to his room. Dad came home and went up to talk to him, came back down and said he thought he got through to him but we won't really know until after school on Monday. We really thought he was going to have a good day today after our last talk and he lost some privilidges.

We know we have to crack down on both kids and being consistent so we have both decided not to let that go anymore. The problem is I grew up afraid of my dad and I do not want my kids to be afraid. I need to find a common ground where I can be firm and hold my ground but not have them be afraid.

The other thing is I do not believe the school has full control over the class so I am thinking if things do not go well Monday, I will keep him home from then on since there is only a month left of school. I have talked to the kindergarten teacher at the new school he would be going to in the fall and he has orientation May 4th so she will let me know what she thinks when she sees him. How do you get a kid to learn social skills if not at school?

I just needed to get this off my chest so I can re-energize and start thinking positive things again. Normally I do not let my disability get me this down, but I do feel if I had my sight and could drive we could have him in more social situations or we could have put him in a different preschool, one that has more firm rules etc.

Thanks for listening.

Family Update: You know most of it already! Dad and daughter are going to the Blizzard (indoor football) game tonight. I got an e-mail from my brother-in-law saying he is bringing the boys the weekend of the 29th so we are planning a water park day along with a train show with the grandparents from Crystal Falls (if they can make it).

Hopefully, I will have more interesting blogs in the next few days.