Baby's First Christmas

My in-law were here recently and we were looking through the ads. There are a lot of artificial christmas trees available in all colors and sizes. I asked my mother-in-law if I ever told her what happened at my daughter's first christmas. She did not remember so I told her.

My daughter was six months old and I was dead tired from sleep deprivation. Hubby was working mandatory overtime and our dog was a little schizo from being cooped up all the time. The baby would only nurse a few minutes at a time and then fall asleep. Sometimes, she would fall asleep after taking only a few drinks and then her head would fall back and the milk would run out the side of her mouth and down her chin.

So a week before Christmas someone asked where our tree was and we said we were not going to put one up because we would be at my mother's Christmas Eve and then my in-laws on Christmas day. Our friend said, "What? Her first Christmas and you are not putting up a tree?"

So, hubby goes down to the basement and brings up the aritificial tree and puts lights on it. I had picked up an ornament with a dalmation it it. (Dalmations was all the rage and her room was done with it). So there was our tree with lights and one ornament.

The day after Christmas I removed the ornament and put it in the baby keepsake box, grabbed the tree, dragged it to the stairs which lead to the basement and threw the tree down the stairs where it lay at the bottom.

There, taking down the Christmas decorations was done.

I always thought this was a funny story but my mother in law asked why I did it and I thought about it and realized how out of it I was then.

With all the news about new mothers and post partum depression, I guess I had a part of it as well. Unable to sleep because I thought if I slept for any length of time, the baby would stop breathing or something horrible would happen.

Looking back, I wish I would have asked for help. Maybe my telling this story will help others it is ok to ask for help.